Five Major Mistakes Noob Stoners Need to Avoid

If you’ve been around the sacred herb long enough, you can probably relate to a few, if not all of these common mistakes people tend to make when they first start using cannabis.

Although they seem obvious now, there was a time I was a noob and I made every single one of these mistakes, some of which have put me off certain cannabis products for years.

THC ain’t nothing to fuck with. And if you don’t know what you’re doing, you might end up greened-out on a couch at a huge event, having the worst time of your life while everyone else is enjoying their bong rips next to your useless body.

I’ve done them all, and here are some short stories of the FIVE BIGGEST MISTAKES noob stoners make that should be avoided

Overzealous Consumption

The first few times I tried getting stoned I was shook and did not inhale big enough puffs to have the full effect. This all changed that cold winter day during lunchtime in seventh grade when I smoked up with some of the school’s senior thuggish ruggish mooks. Under immense peer pressure, I took really big puffs and held that shit in as long as I could. A couple of minutes later we parted ways and the high started creeping in. Next thing you know I’m standing in the middle of a parking lot stunned, staring at some random man who was staring back at me probably thinking, “WTF is wrong with this kid”? I literally thought I could make him disappear just by thinking about it. For the next twenty minutes, I just stood there half scared, half amazed, releasing a “whoa” every so often as my friend was trying not to choke on his turkey sandwich while laughing at me, rolling around in a snow bank. Some cultivars are very strong and may contain up to 30% cannabinoid content. Your first few times, I strongly suggest taking it easy and micro-dosing until you have achieved an effect that you can comfortably tolerate and enjoy. Take a nice deep toke and wait to see its effects in a few minutes. If you really don’t feel anything, you can up the dosage until you achieve the desired effect.

Hot Dabs

I’ve experimented with lots of recreational drugs over time and one of my most intense bad-trips has been from doing super hot dabs. This is back when doing dabs was very new to us and the only time we had ever tried this was at the 2013 High Times Cannabis Cup in San Francisco. The second time I did a dab was in Queens, NY about a year later on my way to meet my friend in the LES. I had stopped at a buddy’s house for a quick sesh and he gave me a giant glob of disgusting BHO on a red hot nail. Right after I exhaled, I knew I was completely fucked and there was no way I was going to make it to Manhattan via public transport. I spent the following hour drinking tons of water trying not to die. It really felt like my heart was going to explode. Long story short, don’t take hot dabs because it will ruin your day and scare you from enjoying dabs or any form of concentrates in the future. Start with small very low temp dabs and see how you react to it. Some people have a way bigger tolerance than others so be careful and test your limits before going ham. I stayed off dabs for a whole year after that experience.

Strong Edibles

Man, this is probably one of the most common mistakes, one that still has me shook to this day. In 2006, I had screwed-up a big batch of hash brownies that had me stoned for three full days. I spent 24+ hours sleeping and every time I woke up, I felt like shit. On the third day, I was considering going to the hospital because I was still uncomfortably stoned but my friend had convinced me to go eat some cheeseburgers and claimed that it would help soak up some of the cannabinoids still present in my digestive system. I have no clue how it works but he was right. I had two greasy cheeseburgers at Billy Geez and shortly after that, I could feel the high slowly slipping away. It was a horrible experience that has me off edibles until recently. So be very careful with edibles and give them time to soak into your system. Sometimes this can take a while so go slow with the dosage. I know it tastes good but this stuff can hit you extra hard and screw up your whole day, or three days, as it was in my case. Approach edibles with respect and give them some time to kick in. Also, make sure you dose your portions properly, one of the most common mistakes like in my case was making the edibles way too strong.

Mixing Flower with Tobacco and Oils with PGVG

Depending on where you live, this might not be that big of an issue. I grew up in Montreal in the late 90’s early 2000s where we have a very European style of smoking weed, which means people often mix their herb with tobacco. Being hella poor and not very well educated about cannabis due to lack of internet and proper mentors, it was completely normal to throw half a cigarette into a tiny piece of weed so we could stretch it. There was a time where I would not roll-up if I did not have tobacco and would even buy packs of smokes despite not being a smoker just so I can use the tobacco to roll joints. This leads to tobacco addiction to the point where you either start smoking cigarettes or can’t smoke weed without mixing it with tobacco. Try avoiding mixing your flowers with tobacco or your oils with cutting agents such as synthetic mystery terpenes and PG/VG to make e-juice. There are way better, safer, cleaner and healthier ways of consuming your cannabis.

Quality > Quantity

Here in Quebec, cannabis is cheap if you compare prices with other provinces, States and Western countries. It’s arguably some of the cheapest indoor weed in the world. However, the quality varies and the high-end, top-shelf quads still go for significantly more than regular mids. For years, we were weed poor, with no connection and very few choices so we always went for the better deal rather than the superior product. Right around 2004, I had an awakening and vowed in front of two friends that I would never smoke M-39 again and would forever try to buy the dankest, loudest weed I can get my hands on. This is my longest-lasting, unbroken commitment and I’m proud of it. Don’t get caught up in the hype-lord fantasy, paying crazy money for names and flash.

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